Why yes, I do use marijuana for medical purposes. What of it?

To my dear friends: it’s okay to tell people I use marijuana and that it helps with my medical issues. I’m not afraid to admit it and it’s okay if you tell others should they ask for examples of people who use marijuana to assist with their issues.

In a nutshell, in summer of 2006 I was diagnosed by a psychiatrist with generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), PTSD, Dysthymia (dysthymic disorder), and dual depression. I went in for a study on depression and, after running through all the prelims, I was told my problems were too complex for the study. I had no idea. It was an eye-opener for sure!

According to mentalhelp.net, “‘Dual’ or ‘Double’ depression is a term used to describe the condition of a person with Dysthymia who also develops a more severe and persistent Major Depressive Episode at the same time. As mentioned previously, dysthymia is a less severe type of depression that involves long-term, chronic symptoms that do not disable, but which do make it difficult to function or feel good. People diagnosed with double depression require aggressive depression treatment not only during the acute Major Depression phase, but also during the chronic low-grade Dysthymia phase that follows in order to try to prevent future occurrences of Major Depressive Episodes. Studies suggest that individuals with double depression often respond well to antidepressants for their Major Depressive Episodes, but that their low-grade dysthymic symptoms may not abate completely. In other words, if you suffer from double depression, medication may relieve your most severe depressive symptoms, but you may not experience periods of feeling completely well.”

So yes, I do smoke weed when I have anxiety attacks or feel like I’m about to have a meltdown. Now, I can tell you that I’m proud of myself for accomplishing what I do, given the fact that I’ve had days when getting out of bed was a major feat. I wouldn’t wish all of this on anybody, BUT if you suffer from any of these conditions, take heart that you CAN still function, even though it’s difficult at times.

Don’t be too hard on yourself (still working on that myself!) and remind people that you DO have these conditions, so people who aren’t struggling with them can learn about them and offer you support and assistance. You are capable, strong, and resilient!

Feel free to message me at any time if you need a boost, okay? I’ve been there and done that. Still fighting it…but winning (or so I believe)! Blessings & love. 

Things you should know about me and my blog ;-)

A warm welcome to new followers of my blog. Glad to have you here.

Notice: I’m outspoken, blunt at times, affable most of the time (but do not suffer fools), and am not Christian (a lot of my family/friends are, though).

My most potent weapon are my words and my acid tongue when I get riled over something—Paul can attest to that. He calls it verbal (or written) napalm. I also curse at times and, as a typical Sagittarian sun sign (with a Virgo rising and a Gemini moon), it can be an interesting and oft-confusing ride at times. I often open my mouth (or type things out) without thinking that I might inadvertently offend someone.

One rule I have that will not bend is that this is my blog, and thus is my virtual home. This means I say what I want, post what I want, and do not ask for nor require your approval to share unvarnished, raw thoughts or posts here. If you start problems or attack other commenters here, I will delete your comments and you. So keep things nice and polite. Instead of getting butthurt or stirring up shit with me, it’s best to ignore my posts for a while, scroll on by, or unfriend me if you’re bothered over something I post. I am who I am and, at 49, I’m not changing who I am to avoid making you feel uncomfortable

Here’s what you need to know: I’m an ex-Army brat, a professional writer and editor (17 years as of this month), pagan (for 30 years), pro-choice, pro-gay marriage (I have a gay brother and numerous gay friends who are like family to me), independent liberal (and a proud American!), not big on guns (though if you want ’em, I don’t want to take ’em away, unless you shouldn’t have them for obvious reasons), love swords/daggers/katana/sharp gadgets, intrigued by Samurai, a Japanophile, into Eastern philosophy/social psychology (I minored in philosophy and majored in communication & psychology in college), curous about what causes abnormal behavior (esp. sociopaths/psychopaths), a nocturnal soul, and a paranormal investigator (for 9 years).

Since I’m a professional copy editor, I do get wigged out over misused apostrophes and misuses of your/you’re or there/their, etc. Take it with a grain of salt, though. We all make mistakes; in fact, I make them frequently! Nobody is perfect, after all. 😉

If you message or e-mail me, I answer as I can. When I’m working or involved in creative projects, I do not answer personal messages or texts until I’m ready. Unless you pay to retain me 24/7, you will have to learn patience *grin* Unless it’s bleeding or on fire, or if I’m otherwise engaged, ya gotta wait.

There’s more, but that’ll give you an idea of who I am and what you should expect. That way if you can’t handle who I am, you can run for the hills now! *snicker* Otherwise, I hope you decide to stay so we can have fun and laughs together.

Again, WELCOME!

P.S.—I also know I’m verbose *shrugs*

Welsh dreams…

Paul is watching “Penny Dreadful.” Timothy Dalton is in the series and I melt every damned time I see him in anything, pretty much. *sigh* Plus, he’s Welsh.

In the copy of the genealogical papers I have from the family historian on my birth mother’s side, my 9th generation ancestors, William Hughes and (Mary) Molly Daten, married in Surrey, England. Molly Daten was born in Wales and lived to be 87. They had six children: Mary Hughes (1748-1810), Susannah Hughes (1767-1834), Rebecca Hughes (1769-Unknown), Elizabeth Hughes (1774-1870), Moses Hughes (1774-1841), and Milburn Hughes (1776-1867).

I have Scottish ancestors as well (Clan Fergusson and Clan MacNeil of Barra), but I haven’t spent as much time investigating my Welsh, Irish, and Northern European ancestry.

After having my DNA test done, there are so many parts that make up the whole. I love this stuff!

Perhaps when I go back to the UK, I can visit Wales and see my friends Gareth Tamplin and Robin James Ganderton.

Cave of Solitude: Do Not Disturb!

When I become highly focused on something I’m working on or creating, I get extremely agitated when I’m interrupted in any way (especially if it’s trivial stuff). I need my Cave of Solitude time. You’ve heard of the man cave? Well, I have a woman cave, and woe betide anyone who bothers me. Many times, I don’t even want to mess with eating or going to the bathroom, but those things I can’t ignore. However, unless it’s bleeding or on fire, it’s best to leave me alone in my Cave of Solitude until I’m ready to emerge and join humanity again.

[New book!] Nocturnal Musings: Collected Ponderings, Essays, and Stories

*New book! Introductory price only .99 cents!*
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Stand in your power—always!

Stand in your power. You need nobody’s permission to do so. Ladies, do not allow anyone to patronize you, minimize you, or condescend to you. If they do, move forward without them. Wish them well on their path and exit stage left. Being caring and compassionate does not mean the same thing as being a doormat or a vessel for abuse or mistreatment.

[Quote] You are the only custodian of your own integrity

“When people try to tell you who you are, don’t believe them. You are the only custodian of your own integrity, and the assumptions made by those that misunderstand who you are and what you stand for reveal a great deal about them and absolutely nothing about you.”
—Maria Popova, founder of Brain Pickings

[Dreams] Strange words, roller coasters, and Michael Jackson reincarnated

So, the next chapter of the weird stuff I dream. As I mentioned many times before, I sometimes dream of words, phrases, names, or even addresses. This started happening a couple years ago, roughly. It had never happened to me before then.

The other night I once again saw a word written out in my dream. The word, ‘legerdemain,’ I have heard of before, but I didn’t know what it meant. I wrongly suspected it had something to do with owning land or something like that. I looked it up, and it actually means conjuring, sleight of hand, skill in using your hands to perform magic tricks, or a display of skill/adroitness. The word was typed out on a piece of paper, which is how I read it in my dream. What an interesting word to dream about and ponder. 

As for last night, one dream was about a roller coaster accident. It tilted too much to the left (I viewed the coaster from behind, by the way) when it went around a bend and dumped all the riders into a body of water that was next to the coaster. Nobody was killed, but it was a disturbing dream. 

I also dreamed that Michael Jackson was a kid again (possibly reincarnated?) Except his new name was typed out on the tab of a folder as Garane (Garone?) Michael or something similar. I was leading him around in my dream (he was a kid and I was an adult) and taking care of him. 

Strange all around! Because, you know, I can’t ever have boring dreams. They have to be filled with weirdness, intensity, and crazy emotion.

 

Ten Quick Tips for Better Writing

NocturnalDivination.com is now *LIVE*! Hop over for a visit :-)

Tada! I now have a dedicated website for Nocturnal Divination Magick & Miscellanea.

Please visit my new site & grab a reading from $1 and up. I offer tarot readings, oracle card readings, various astrology charts/reports, rune readings, & handwriting analysis.

A few of my books are available for sale, too. I’ll be listing more items in the near future, including art and handmade crocheted/knit items, so be sure to bookmark the site and visit regularly.

Yes, I will still have my Etsy shop, but this site is in addition to that: http://www.nocturnaldivination.com/