Today I turn 49, and I have a different sort of announcement to make. I’m excited about it, and Paul is completely supportive as well. In short, I am embarking on the path of becoming a demonologist. Yes, a path of study and research I have already touched upon before and considered for a long time; however, I never voiced it to anyone (not even Paul).
The path is a natural one for me, given the experiences in my life with studying various religions, pursuing a minor in philosophy (with particular emphases on religion and the philosophy of death/dying), and a long history with the paranormal (both the study of it as well of the investigation of claims).
If you’ve been on my FB page for a while, you already know that, although I was raised Presbyterian and my adopted dad was originally Mormon, I’ve been pagan for 30 years and have been pagan clergy for over ten years now. In the past, I have acted as a High Priestess and performed numerous rituals. I’ve also been an avid practitioner of various forms of divination most of my life, casting my first astrological horoscope at a young age and progressing into studying numerology, cartomancy, graphology, palmistry, tarot card readings, and runes, among others. I’ve always harbored odd fascinations and was, undoubtedly, a weird kid. Needless to say, I have grown into a stranger adult! But I’m okay with it. This is who I am.
Ironically, although Paul was raised Catholic and I wasn’t, he often jokes that I’m more Catholic at the core than he is because my inherent guilt often eclipses his. I also enjoy watching Latin Mass on the Catholic Channel. I find Latin an enchanting and magickal language. Also, as mentioned before, I enjoy rituals, and many pagans who are drawn to Wicca start out as Catholics. I’m not Wiccan, but I USED to be. Perhaps I was Catholic in a previous life. One never knows!
But, I digress…
When I was seven years old, I wanted to be a nun—how’s that for a surprise?! When my daughter was about three years old, she matter-of-factly informed me that she had been a nun in her previous life and had died in a fire. This girl had never been to church, had never been around nuns, and did not grow up in a religious household, mind you.
Paul will also tell you I have a longtime, odd fascination with nuns. All very strange for a veteran pagan who loves rituals, finds the Catholic church interesting, is drawn to the architecture of Catholic churches, has a Mother Mary figurine to the left of her computer (a nod to the Divine Feminine), but gets livid over how human involvement in organized religion has caused it to be used as a tool for violence, and other such perversions and crimes against human beings. If you want to screw up a belief system, hand it over to human beings so they can use it for THEIR selfish, myopic purposes, and not for Divinity. This is one of the reasons why I have issues with organized religion, first and foremost.
You also may know Paul and I have been team leads for a paranormal investigation team for eight years now. If you’ve been reading closely over the past couple years in particular, you will have noticed that I’ve mentioned that, since the age of about ten, I’ve been fascinated with occult subjects—exorcism in particular (yes, at such a young age I was reading about such things; I’m glad my mom didn’t hinder me from reading about things I was curious about).
It’s possible you’ll also recall my dream from a while back where I saw the word “Abraxas” written out in heavy, black script. Until I saw the word written out in my dream, I had no idea what it meant. Needless to say, I was taken aback when I researched the term. It depends on the source, but Abraxas has been referred to as both a god and a demon. The info on Abraxas is extensive, if you ever read up on it. The dream has puzzled me for a while, but it also inspired me to explore the history behind it as well.
In essence, here is my main point: I’m finally ready to reveal to all of you where this has been headed, and how I plan to combine my ongoing studies in psychology and spirituality with a special emphasis on demonology. It makes perfect sense to me, given my extensive history with the paranormal and occult. Rather than a sole framework of the Judeo-Christian belief system, I will be approaching my demonology studies from a more expansive vantage point, gathering information from all cultures and time periods (as well as analyzing famous case studies). I will not limit my approach to one theology, as I feel that would do the subject an injustice. It’s important to delve into this intense subject through a wide-angle lens, if you will.
So, there you go. A long explanation, but it’s a big decision for me and this is how I want to share it. Sometimes when you’re drawn in a specific direction, you have to honor it, which is what I’m doing. It’s not a decision you make lightly or without a tremendous amount of thought. I have mulled this over for quite some time. This path requires studying psychology (which I’m already doing, and have done for years), theology, mythology, folkloristics (yes, it’s a real term), and science—yes, science.
Instead of simply dropping a quick sentence like, “Hey, I’ve decided to become a demonologist,” I figured there needed to be more of a discussion. This is a good way to address the reasoning behind my decision upfront. Mind you, you may approve or disapprove, but neither will affect my decision. I’m simply letting you know that, should you see me post interesting bits of historical info or thoughts, there will be a reason why. If this sort of thing makes you uncomfortable, I’m giving you a heads-up so you can unsub or ignore those posts. What you decide to do is up to you, of course.
Now that I have that out of the way, thanks in advance for reading this announcement, and for your support! Back to our regularly scheduled program.