WARNING — PROBABLY TLDR; THIS IS MY OPINION,SO WHETHER YOU AGREE WITH ME OR NOT DOESN’T MATTER; I’M MERELY EXPRESSING MY REACTION TO A BOOK I’VE READ: Erica Jong’s book, FEAR OF FIFTY, is an enjoyable book — but only when she’s talking about writing. I don’t enjoy when she discusses cheating on her husband(s) with numerous men without a care in the world. It’s so much about her needs and (it seems to me) no thought was given to her then-husband(s). Or, somehow, she makes it seem like they deserved it.
I guess this makes me more conservative than you would imagine, but this is the same reason why I didn’t like THE BRIDGES OF MADISON COUNTY. I found it uncomfortable. I don’t know — it seems very simple to me: if you aren’t happy in your marriage or relationship, separate FIRST or start preps for divorce before you think about hooking up with someone.
Mind you, she wasn’t doing those things much of the time when she was screwing around — she just felt like doing it and she needed to have a tryst, so she pretty much fucked around if she got a yearning or desire to do it, all while carrying on with her marriages.
Now, I know some of you will think I’m too harsh and may disagree with me; however, this is MY view and I do not expect everyone to agree with me. Am I a perfect person? No. Do I make mistakes? Yes. Have I ever fucked another man while married to my husband — either one of them? No, and I never would. To me, marriage IS a sacred agreement.
As for my husband, if I ever found out he was cheating on me, that would be IT. No second chances — period. My view is if they cheat on you once (male or female), they will do it again. A rigid view? Probably. But there are some things I do not forgive. I am married to Paul and I plan to stay that way until one of us shuffles off this mortal coil.
There’s a big difference between looking at the menu and ordering. When you’re married, you do NOT order. Of course, why would I WANT to order off the menu when I have filet mignon at home? Seriously…everything else is inexpensive chopped steak to me (or McDonald’s!) Paul makes me feel like the sexiest, most desirable woman in the world. He also treats me with respect, kindness and honesty (even when I don’t want to hear honesty, lol!) He “gets” me, and that is a RARE thing.
I guess I’m open-minded on many things, but gaily sleeping with numerous men while married (and bragging about it!) is not one of them. I know some couples have open relationships/marriages, but that’s not what I’m talking about here — I’m talking about Erica Jong’s marriages (she’s had many — wonder why? /sarcasm) and my negative reaction to what I see as her frivolous behavior, and a total disrespect for her marriages.
Now, I’m not looking for an extended debate or discussion on this; I’m simply voicing my reaction to this book. I DO enjoy her writing, especially when it’s about her life when she was growing up and her family as well as how she came to be a writer; however, I find myself having a distasteful, negative reaction when it comes to screwing other men (while married) as a way to show how liberated she was/is.
Am I being judgmental? Yes, I am. I have a feminist bent to my personality, but I wouldn’t ever consider fucking another man besides my husband — ever! If you start to think like that, then it’s time to separate or start divorce proceedings. Too bad my reading experience with this book has been marred by such things — but then again, it IS Erica Jong. I should expect it, after all.
I think it’s her flippant attitude that bothers me most. If she felt remorse in some way or, upon reflection, said she maybe didn’t do the right thing, I could respect that. Hell, we all make mistakes and nobody’s perfect. But instead, she brags about her conquests, gives NO thought to her husband (and even if they were not good husbands, they are people and you should at least CONSIDER their feelings!) and seems to celebrate her infidelity as if it’s some sort of huge accomplishment or challenge she HAD to conquer.Anyway, it just hit me the wrong way.
Oh, and while I’m on the subject, I can’t count how many women hit on my first husband while we were married (we were married 16 years before he died). I’m not forgiving about that, either. If anyone hits on my husband, they should be prepared for my wrath, ’cause I DO NOT play that shit. Even jokingly. But then again, Paul doesn’t like for people to get too close to him or touch him, anyway.
We had one female client jokingly sit so close to him she was nearly on his lap and she started rubbing his arm and I thought he was gonna gnaw his arm off to get away *laughs*
Not a touchy-feely person with the general public or even acquaintances. We are both like that, in fact. Three feet, 36 inches — keep that intimate space WIDE, people. 🙂
As for Paul, unless you want to lose a limb or be maimed, I wouldn’t recommend it. I’m not tolerant in that way.
So now you know — I actually DO have conservative facets to my personality *gasp!* Do I have to turn in my liberal card now? So…with that said, who else has read this book and what did you think of it? (Damn…this was an unexpected blog post!)